So efficient you'd think I was German. Nein.

There will most likely be a dearth of updates once school starts so I figured I’d get some in while I can. Mostly because I enjoy writing and not because I think any of you are really interested in the updates. I’m so selfish. Also because unpacking makes me consider taking a butter knife to my wrists, I figured I would take a break so I don’t disappoint my family.

In my ever continuing quest to combine tasks and maximize time, I have begun a new practice that couples two cleaning related tasks. Allow me to first preface things.

Anyone not born and raised in Utah, Arizona, Nevada and any other desert state knows that humidity does not mesh well with creatures that use moisture release as a means of cooling their bodies. One would think with a knowledge of concentration gradients and with the outside air already containing so much moisture in Louisville that your body would not readily contribute any of its fluids but would rather try to absorb the outside moisture while retaining internal moisture to offset the moisture that leaves with exhalation. (That was a long sentence.) FALSE! The moisture in the air combined with the heat is the precise catalyst that makes my body unleash an ocean every time I step outside. Thankfully my sudoriferous glands don’t release a stinky component with the sweat or I’d be doubly repulsive.

That sure is great and nerdy, Eric, but you said there were two things you were combining. Will you please address the second task and do so in a much more concise manner?

Firstly, hold your horses, fictional personal asking questions, I’m getting there. Secondly, it’s my update, I will write it as I please. (Talking to myself in such a manner will undoubtedly gain me entrance to the loony bin soon. Can’t help it, this is what I do. Just wanted to make you aware of whom you’re dealing with.)

Anyhow…Washing clothes. Who likes doing it? I like the result of the undertaking but look forward to the task with disdain. My solution? Shower with my clothes on.

You see in Louisville your clothes will be completely drenched in a matter of femtoseconds anyway. Why delay the inevitable? Gone are the times you’ll worry about moisture stains. You’re already all wet, silly! No more worrying about embarrassing moisture collecting areas under the pits or under the chest for men with moobs. Gone too are the days of having to change loads of laundry in the washer. The clothes will be laundered the next time you shower in them. It’s so easy. No a caveman couldn’t do it. He has no basic knowledge of washers and dryers, let alone electricity. Man I hate those commercials! If I was the CEO of Geico, I would grab the advertising company representative that presented the caveman idea by the neck and belt loops and toss them in the street. Then I’d encourage my nephew Dre to ride over him repeatedly with his four-wheeler.

Don’t think I started this new practice because I’m an aspiring never-nude or what have you. It just seemed the most logical thing to do given my current climate and soon to be time restraints.

Until next time, folks. May next time provide you with content that doesn’t cause you to projectile vomit.