My 3 day move to Louisville from SLC.

After loading the Penske like I designed the game Tetris, my dad and I set off to Louisville from Salt Lake City early Wednesday morning. In fact so early I should rightly say it was night and not morning. An abbreviated accounting of daily events follows.

Day 1- Because mornings for me are spent battling the urge to re-succumb to sleep, my dad took the first driving shift. He quickly realized something I learned two days previous. Our truck had an impressive amount of giddy up. We passed our predicted day one progress by lunch time. To celebrate, my dad’s back up and quits on him like…ummm…like something prone to quitting for no reason. A Frenchman? Obviously I have a rare gift for simile. Many interstate travelers wondered what the H that yellow blur was on the road. A massive yellow jacket? Superman in a surprising yellow cape? No it was a Penske truck and accompanying tow dolly with me handling the rains giving it the what fer. Yee-haw!! Didn’t know a moving truck could scoot so fast.* Distance- 730 miles in 12 hours with stops.

Day 2- Dad’s back was still sassing him. I wanted to give him my leather belt so he could bite down on it every time his movements required its cooperation. Poor guy. Can’t thank him enough for making the trek with me. He made it a blast. I love that man. Saw so much corn passing through Nebraska I’m now a qualified expert. We continued making incredible time. Since we traversed a far greater distance than we could have supposed possible over two days, we decided to truncate the driving for the evening and watch game 7 of the NBA Finals. We should have kept on driving. Stupid Lakers. Distance- 600 miles in 10 hours with stops.

Day 3- Seeing as though we didn’t need to make tracks as quickly anymore, my dad and I gave the hotel’s bounteous continental breakfast a thorough working over. Bellies full and happy with our progress we once again boarded the rocket labeled Penske. After prognosticating how long it would take us to get into Louisville, my dad slightly depressed the accelerator. In that same instant our bodies experienced G forces only felt by fighter pilots and astronauts at take off. My internal organs have just barely begun peeling themselves off the back of my rib cage. In just a few short hours, we entered Louisville and were warmly welcomed by some neglected freeways that caused my car and the Penske to do their best impression of a child with ADHD on a hippity hop. Amazingly the suspension didn’t bottom out at all. They weren’t normal expansion cracks or insignificant potholes, they were craters and seemingly bottomless. I thought for sure I would open the rear door of the truck and find only the saw dust remnants of my furniture and items. Never could I have imagined the contents could have withstood such a jostling. Surprisingly nothing was damaged. Not even a scratch. A letter to my congressman about the piss poor quality of the inroads to Louisville seems in order.

In summary, trip was awesome, arrived safely and without incident, Penske trucks rule, my dad’s back sucks, I love Louisville, my dad is cooler than your dad and can beat up your sister, Lakers suck and I have a supernal gift for simile.

T minus 10 days and counting for nerdery to resume. Face!!

*Just to give you an idea of how fast we were moving, a beam of light left the starting gate the same time we did. It caught up with us two days after we reached Louisville. True story. No need to do the calculations.